Moving on... I have things to do today, must get moving on the finishing touches of the baby shower that is this Saturday. Oooooh, and it's Valentine's Day this week, as someone reminded me... I wonder what I'll get! I plan on making little cards for my co-workers and to my immediate family as well. Here's what I did last night, and the night before:
Thought of this the other day. Do you still think this funny? Now that you know I knew you two were writing then? Now that you continued writing Dylan for a year and a half from this point- right into your marriage? Now that you know I had in my hand a letter you had just written talking about how you didn't love Sam, but I didn't send it because I'd heard you were pregnant. Now that you know that Dylan punched himself repeatedly in the face when I found out about Alex Washington? I told Dylan a million times that him being an asshole wouldn't make me one, and that's why, despite all the encouragement from my friends and family, I didn't post your fuck letters and pictures online. I also still didn't send the letter to Sam even after you thought it was amusing to make fun of me like we're 16 year old girls and you're the bully. I act on my values and revenge is not one. I also keep my word and tell the truth. I don't regret not posting your letters online. The Internet is one big copy machine and they would have been forever out there, for your kids (or mine, although I wouldn't have put Dylan's name on there) to find.
ReplyDeleteHowever, if I've learned anything from Dylan's crazy it's that people need to be called out on their bullshit. You won't meet me face to face, and who can blame you? What good would that do you? I don't actually need to anymore either. I believed that you knew Dylan was in the middle of a breakdown. BUT,when I googled your name to find your blog, you know what I found? A post you'd posted on a blog talking about how you worry about falling out of love with your spouse. I'd read that in your letters to each other; I just didn't think it was something either of you really believed. Obviously, that wasn't Dylan's story to me, his friends, or Dad. You really believed Dylan was who he said he was? See, Dylan and I saw the same counselor and right after Alex Washington, she said that you knew he was in the middle of a breakdown. I said, "That's what I keep telling Dylan, but he says she didn't know. Their letters were all 'Hey, Baby, I love you so much. I can't wait to fuck you. Love, the other one.' There wasn't any substance." She said, "There is no way she didn't know." I believed her. I really gave everyone way too much credit. One of the stupidest things Dylan ever said to me was right after I found out about your affair, he said, "She's like you only without an autistic seven-year-old and a baby with colic." It was just the kind of bullshit you say when you are begging for forgiveness, but damn it pissed me off. You and I are nothing alike, and your post here is very good evidence for that. I do regret not sending your letter to Sam, and I regret not sending the letter to Tom, but at least I told him. I like truth. I like everything out in the open. I'm done, by the way. I don't think about you often, but being made fun of as an adult happens so rarely, it kind of stuck with me.